It has been quite some time since I have fired up this blog, but stay tuned! I have accumulated quite a list of topics and essays that I hope to share in the coming weeks and months. Unfortunately, this subject is not one that I had planned to write about.
A couple of weeks ago I learned about a young man in my former LDS stake (the Austin, Texas Stake) who has been summoned for a disciplinary council. Kyle went to his singles ward twice when he moved to Austin in 2012. Two years later his bishop, whom he had not met previously, texted him asking him to come in for an interview. In Kyle’s words, this is what followed:
“He asked me why I wasn’t coming to church, I told him it was difficult going to church as a gay man, and he asked if I had broken covenants. I told him I had (I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 2 years) and he started talking about a disciplinary council. This was all within 10 or 15 minutes of meeting him. I met with that bishop twice for a total of 1 hour, and I met with the stake president once for 30 minutes. That’s all the contact they’ve had with me.”
I expect that this blog entry will be mostly read by a small community of my friends and family, most of whom are faithful members of the LDS Church. I do not wish to debate the validity of the Church’s views on homosexuality here. All I will say on that subject is that it is anything but simple for Mormons, and current teachings require us to walk a very fine line when it comes to responding to these issues as they arise in our personal lives.
My hope is that other members of my faith can agree with me that disciplinary action is not a first step. It is a last resort that cannot be properly exercised unless all other efforts to help someone have been made. Unfortunately, I do not believe this to be the case with Kyle.
I have written the following email to my friends in the Austin Stake presidency and high council. Kyle’s disciplinary council is scheduled to occur this Sunday, May 31. The question of justice and mercy is a vexing one. My belief is that when in doubt, we should err on the side of mercy. Email below.
I am writing you this email after having recently learned about the pending disciplinary council to be held for Kyle [______]. Kyle is openly gay, and has not attended church for some time.
As I have struggled to find the words to write, my mind keeps returning to the following scripture from the fifth chapter of Luke. The scripture recounts a moment when Jesus was challenged for his association with publicans and sinners.
“And Jesus answering said unto them, They that are whole need not a physician; but they that are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.”
I have sometimes heard it said at Church that the atonement of Christ is beyond our mortal comprehension. In some ways, it certainly is when we ponder its infinite power. However, the manner in which the atonement works in our lives is no secret:
“For behold, my beloved bretheren, I say unto you that the Lord God worketh not in darkness. He doeth not anything save it be for the benefit of the world; for he loveth the world, even that he layeth down his own life that he may draw all men unto him. . . .” 2 Ne. 26:23-24.
The atonement was not a work of darkness. His infinite power is the simple power of perfect love, and may be comprehended by anyone who has felt love. The Savior’s love draws us to Him.
But the thing about love is that it must be expressed. Indeed, like faith, love does not exist where it is not expressed. And to express love, we must know someone. We must spend time with them and make them a part of our lives.
Like everyone else, I have experienced moments of terrible darkness. For me, these moments have come when I have felt that God was displeased with me and would not associate with me because of my sins. Imagine the light and warmth I felt when I came to understand that God really does love sinners. He seeks their company. He eats with them. He stays at their homes. As the “Son of Man,” he seeks to be counted among them.
I hope that you will consider other alternatives to excommunication for Kyle. I hope you will instead consider inviting him to church as a member of the flock. I hope you will consider taking the time to get to know him and associate with him. I hope you will act in such a way that Kyle will feel “drawn” to you and the members of the [________] ward. I hope your actions will reflect those of the Savior in Palestine, which caused the Pharisees and scribes to ask, Why do ye eat and drink with publicans and sinners?
With love and regard,